


you were mine to lose

by elemie89



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Mild Angst, No Pregnancy, One Night Stands, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:54:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27960341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elemie89/pseuds/elemie89
Summary: Rey is working at the Tikki Hutt, a bar owned by her friends Rose and Finn Tico, for the summer as she figures out her next steps in life. One night, her favorite singer, Kylo Ren, plays a show at the bar.
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 64
Kudos: 252





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, I know it's been a hot minute since I have posted anything. First and foremeost, I hope this update finds you safe in this hellacious year we're collectively experiencing. I hope you're finding comfort where you can. 
> 
> I found this prompt on Twitter back in August courtesy of [beccastanzst](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beccastanz/pseuds/beccastanz) and I couldn't resist because it fit in perfectly with the idea I had to write an AU of "august" by Taylor Swift. I hope y'all enjoy this because I had a ton of fun writing this! 
> 
> Many thanks to [https://archiveofourown.org/users/theselittlethings](theselittlethings) for giving this the once over.

Rey swiped a towel along the back of her neck, removing the sweat that accumulated in the last twenty minutes. The oversized bamboo fans spinning on the ceiling only provided so much relief from the oppressive August humidity. She stashed it underneath the bar, where she kept it for just such an occasion. A breeze blew in from the warm waters of the Gulf. It was balmy, but felt cool against her skin, raising goosebumps underneath her sundress. 

She was grateful the only thing she had a gripe with was the heat. Working five times a week at the Tiki Hutt — the outdoor bar at Naboo Villas — was nothing to complain about. She received free room and board for the summer, and all the fruity tropical drinks her liver could handle. She was thankful that Finn and Rose Tico, her friends who managed the Tiki Hutt had offered her the job plus a place to stay.

Rey picked up a different towel and wiped a bit of condensation on the bar left by a bottle of beer. The chatter from the patrons was louder tonight than most other weeknights. In nearly three months of working at the resort, she noticed that Tuesday drew a larger crowd for the live music.. 

“Remind me again who’s performing tonight?” Rey asked Rose, who stood to her right. 

Rose shrugged coily and promptly returned to the glass she was cleaning. Rey’s gaze moved to Finn, who also offered Rey a shrug. He’d been sworn to secrecy as well, apparently. 

“Fine, be cryptic,” she called after her best friends/bosses. 

Out of the corner of her eye, Rey saw a twenty-something dudebro with his finger in the air. Sizing him up with his pink button-up shirt and blue seersucker shorts, she figured he would order a beer — something domestic. 

“Bud Light, please,” he said, setting down his finger. 

Rey smirked. “Coming right up, my friend.” 

In her short few years in various service industry jobs, she developed a sixth sense for what people would order. Her instincts never failed her. She served two more customers — a mojito for a forty-something divorcee and a draft beer for the sixty-something sugar daddy type who’d been hitting on her moments earlier. Then Rose’s voice came on the speaker system, cutting above the crowd. 

“Good evening everyone! I hope you’re all enjoying your stay at Naboo Villas! I’m glad you’ve chosen to relax this evening at the Tikki Hutt!” 

Mild enthusiasm came from the crowd, who seemingly just wanted to get back to their drinks and conversations. To Rose's credit, she clapped her hands together and plowed right through.

“We have some live entertainment for y’all tonight, so please give it up for Kylo Ren!” 

The name  _ Kylo Ren _ got the vacationers — and Rey’s — attention. How did a Grammy-winning, folk singer wind up at a tiny resort in Florida of all places? There was no time to ponder that question, because another patron walked up for a drink. Rey barely heard the order as Kylo Ren walked onto the small stage with his acoustic guitar. 

To say that Rey had heard of Kylo Ren was an understatement. She’d been to every single one of his tour dates in her sleepy college town in Michigan. How the hell was he  _ here _ ? Rey wasn’t complaining, but it seemed damn near impossible that someone of his caliber would be in Destin, Florida. 

Rey could barely form a single thought. She watched with her mouth slightly agape as her favorite singer shyly lifted his hand to greet the crowd's applause. He settled into the stool provided for him — which was almost comically small for his large frame — and adjusted the microphone. He lifted his dark eyes toward the crowd and the foolish schoolgirl crush Rey harbored for him screamed for him to look over at her. His hand wrapped around the neck of his guitar. 

Rey had known he wasn’t a small man, concerts and pictures of him on the red carpet confirmed this, but she was nowhere near prepared for his  _ actual _ size in person. Nothing prepared her for how incredibly  _ more _ gorgeous he was in real life. His angular jaw and prominent nose weren’t exactly classically handsome, but somehow it worked for Rey... and millions of other humans who were attracted to men. 

Kylo strummed a few chords on his guitar, ensuring it was in tune. He picked his head up and acknowledged the audience for the second time since taking the stage. 

“Good evening everyone.” 

The first few chords of “Let the Past Die” reverberated in the night air. Rey placed her elbows on the bar and lowered her head into her hands. Kylo cast a spell over the entire audience and Rey was no exception, hanging on every word and note of the first verse. A nudge on her arm from Rose was the only thing able to break the trance. 

Her friend and boss smiled conspiratorially. “So... not too shabby?” 

“How the fuck did you nab Kylo Ren?” 

Rose chuckled, keeping her attention fixed on the stage. “I heard a rumor that he was staying at the resort, so I tracked him down.” 

Rey kept her gaze fixed on the man on the stage singing the song he wrote, drunk, in fifteen minutes after his father's funeral. Rey had seen him perform this song before but there was something more primal, more raw tonight. His face seemed twisted in pain, almost choking on his words at certain points. She felt like a voyeur, being this up close and personal to his pain. 

A customer came up and quietly ordered a drink, and Rey was glad for the reprieve it offered. It made her feel less creepy. Sometimes she thought she knew way too much about him for her own good. The song ended a few moments later and the audience broke into polite applause. His loose black t-shirt blew in the breeze as he nodded his head in gratitude. 

He placed a hand on the microphone. “Now for this next song, I’ll need a volunteer. Who out there knows my song 'You’re Not Alone'?” 

Rey’s head snapped up toward the stage. That was her favorite song. She cried the first time she’d heard it — in the dark, at one in the morning on the day it was available for streaming. If she were honest, the entire album made her cry. It was the same one “Let the Past Die” was on. Having been written after his father’s untimely death, Kylo and the critics described it as his “most personal album to date.” The theme of loneliness was woven throughout and Rey had never felt so  _ seen _ in her entire life, as if the words were pulled from the depths of her soul. 

Someone had finally got it. 

Kylo rarely performed “You’re Not Alone” live, as it was a duet he recorded with Halsey. The only time she’d ever been available to perform with him was the VMAs just after the song debuted. And here Rey was, about to witness one of her favorite songs performed live by Kylo and some random person. She could only hope the person he picked to sing with him was good. 

Before she knew what was happening, Rose was hoisting Rey’s arm up in the air, apparently volunteering her. Rey’s eyes widened and she tried to pull her arm down as she realized what was going on. That only made Rose grip her wrist tighter and stand on her tiptoes to ensure Kylo saw her hand. 

“Rose, what are you doing?” Rey hissed. 

“Only making your wildest dream come true,” she said with a toss of her head, her messy top knot moving with the action. 

“I’m not that good a singer!” Rey protested, turning toward Rose’s husband. “Finn!” 

“I’m with my wife on this one, this is once-in-a lifetime shit, Rey,” he said with raised eyebrows. 

Rose dismissed her with a wave. “You do fine at karaoke.” 

“Rose, stop!” 

Before Rey could object any further, the deep timbre of Kylo’s voice came through the speakers. “How ‘bout you behind the bar?”

Kylo was pointing at Rey. 

“Go!” Rose pushed her. 

“No!” 

Finn grabbed her wrist gently. “Go, or I’m firing you!” 

Rey knew he was only half-joking as she was pushed out from behind the bar. A sheepish smile spread across her face. She smoothed nonexistent wrinkles from her dress. All the eyes in the room followed her as she walked up toward the stage. She dragged a second microphone to the front of the stage. 

Holy shit, she was  _ really _ going to do this. She sucked in a deep breath. The man responsible for her boosts of serotonin when she needed them most turned to look at her. 

“What’s your name?” 

“Rey,” she somehow managed to squeak out. 

“Nice to meet you,” he said, extending his hand. She shook it, and tried not to think about how warm it was or how perfectly hers fit in his. 

“You know this song?” he asked, almost in jest. 

“Kinda,” Rey admitted sheepishly. 

“It’s her favorite,” Finn called out from behind the bar. Rey could feel her cheeks redden as the crowd chuckled and Kylo smirked. 

Kylo strummed the first few chords of “You’re Not Alone” and that’s when Rey’s memory went hazy. She wouldn’t be able to remember anything from her performance until a few months down the line when it would slowly come back to her in fragments, in bits and pieces. The next thing she remembered was the adulation from the audience. They were responding more enthusiastically than for the last song. 

And Kylo? Well, he was just looking at her with soft eyes and his jaw just slightly slack. What she wouldn’t give to read his thoughts right now. Maybe she didn’t want to know, but the tiny part that was _dying_ to know dominated more than anything. 

This was too intense, too much. Rey looked away from him and gave the crowd a nod of acknowledgment. She then hopped off the stage and scurried — with her head down — back behind the bar. 

Rose ran over to her, squealing in delight, and hugged her so tightly Rey thought she might pass out. 

“Ohmigod, ohmigod! That was amazing! I got video of the whole thing and just sent it to Poe!” 

Rey felt herself blush at her best friend's run on sentence. “Thanks.” 

“How did I do?” Rey asked earnestly.

Finn chimed in, “You’re kidding me, right?” 

“I just kinda blanked up there,” Rey replied with a nervous chuckle. 

Rose was beaming. “Well, the obvious eye-fucking aside, your voice sounded lovely!” 

Rey’s eyes nearly popped out of her skull. “Eye-fucking?! I was eye-fucking him. Ugh, god, I’m so embarrassed.” 

“He was eye-fucking you too, so…”

Rey didn’t have time to process this information before a patron demanded her attention. Not thinking about things like how she maybe, possibly, potentially eye-fucked her favorite singer became increasingly difficult. She threw herself into the most menial of tasks in order to not look at Kylo as he took selfies and signed autographs for his audience. 

The crowd soon dwindled and only a few stragglers were left. Kylo took a seat at the bar in front of Rey. Their eyes locked for a few moments before Rey felt a heat wrap around the back of her neck, up to her cheeks — and it wasn’t just from the warm Gulf air. 

“What’ll it be?” she asked. 

Kylo opened his mouth to place his drink order, but Rey cut him off. 

“Wait, let me guess.” 

He regarded her with an amused expression. “You’re gonna guess my drink order?” 

Rey shrugged. “It’s my superpower.” He waved her on, urging her to continue. “Whiskey neat.” 

Kylo smirked. “Okay, maybe I’m a little predictable.” 

“Really?” Rey laughed in near disbelief as she began preparing his drink. “It was between that or an IPA. I only chose the whiskey because we don’t have IPA on tap.” 

“Fair,” he said, tipping his glass toward her. 

Rey grabbed her old, reliable wash rag and wiped up some condensation on the bar. “So what brings you all the way to Destin?” 

His expression darkened and he fiddled with the glass with one hand. His other hand slowly, absentmindedly wandered toward his chest. “Let me worry about that…”

Rey’s smile dropped in turn. “Okay, sorry, didn’t mean to poke at a touchy subject.”

Kylo’s shoulders hunched toward the bar. “Sorry, I know you're just trying to do your job and make small talk.” 

The conversation flowed easily after that as Kylo nursed his whiskey. Rey was drawn in, no matter how hard she resisted. They bantered and joked, talked about everything and nothing at all. Rey didn’t know how much time had passed until Rose put a hand on her shoulder. 

“I’ll lock up,” she said with a knowing look. 

“Oh, it’s okay, I can help close up,” Rey replied, clearly oblivious to what her friend was saying. 

“No, I’ll lock up,” Rose repeated, more forcefully. 

Rey suddenly understood and her eyes widened. She squeezed them shut before Kylo noticed anything. “Can you excuse us for just a second?” 

He nodded at the two women as they stepped a few feet away, out of his earshot. 

“Rose, I can’t do this.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“He doesn’t want me like that.” 

“You two have been flirting with each other all night. You can’t be that dense, Rey.” 

“He does?” 

“Yes! Go for it!” 

Rey bit her lip and glanced back at Kylo. He looked back at her expectantly. Rose gave her the slightest push as Finn nodded along. 

“Go get your hot rock star,” Rose smiled. 

Rey stepped toward Kylo hesitantly, but as she drew closer she realized she could do this. It was just for tonight that she’d be living out millions of people’s fantasies. No big deal. 

She pressed her hands on the bar as she stood before him. “Hey.” 

They smiled and let out a small laugh simultaneously. “Hey.” 

She cocked her head toward the exit. “You wanna get out of here?” 

  
  
***

As the door of her apartment latched behind them, Rey knew there was no promise of forever. That was just fine with her. They were who they were. She’d be naive to think anything else. There were no illusions. Rey knew this wasn’t any deeper than casual sex for him, for both of them. 

They met each other in the middle of the room, only inches apart. His hands moved toward her waist,  _ slowly, very slowly _ . Why was he hesitating? It confused Rey, but only for a second. No sooner had that thought crossed her mind, she squashed it down. She could think about that at another time, right now only pleasure mattered. 

Rey stepped closer toward Kylo, their chests nearly flush. She fisted his shirt as she raised on her tiptoes. His lips tasted of cinnamon whiskey. Combined with the scent of his skin, it was intoxicating.

Any hesitation Kylo had was gone when Rey took the lead and made the first move. At the first touch of their lips, his massive hands slid up her back and drew her in even closer. So close that she felt his heart thrumming in his chest as they kissed. Or was that her own heart wildly beating? 

Her hands glided up his black t-shirt and pushed him into the chair next to the bed. Rey straddled his hips and recaptured his lips. Hands roved all over, exploring clothed flesh. 

Kylo’s hands skimmed up the length of her thighs, lifting her skirt up to cup her ass and give it a gentle squeeze. A heat began gathering between her legs as Kylo’s plush lips glided down her throat toward her clavicle.

“Kylo,” she breathed his name, tilting her head back, providing him better access. 

He paused and Rey nearly moaned, ready to beg him to continue. His dark eyes peered up at her through his lashes. 

“Ben,” he stated evenly. It took a moment to register, but when it did, the heat between Rey’s legs grew exponentially. 

There was something so personal, so...  _ intimate _ about him wanting to be called by his real name and not the name the world knew him by. Millions of people called him Kylo, and here he was asking her to call him Ben. Rey tried to think nothing of it.  _ Only tonight _ , she reminded herself. 

Ben nipped at Rey’s neck, lightly dragging the soft flesh between his teeth. Rey could feel one of the straps on her dress slink down her arm as he moved lower. Ben drew his attention away from her neck toward her chest. He rubbed his nose over her clothed nipples, slipped both thumbs under her straps and slowly peeled them down. 

He placed an almost reverent kiss between her breasts before swirling his tongue on onenipple. The rough, callused pad of his thumb moved to the other, kneading her breast with his open palm. 

Rey held his angular jaw in her hands and for the briefest moment, they held each other’s gaze. She hadn’t planned on more than tonight with Ben. But there was something in his eyes that she could swear he was doing the same thing as her — memorizing every sensation and his face. She quickly talked herself out of that line of thought as she captured his lips in a bruising kiss. 

It was easy to forget all thoughts of the future as she felt a hardness growing between her legs, pushing against her center. A small, involuntary roll of her hips pulled a grunt from him. She reached for the button of his black jeans. 

“Do you... do you have a condom?” she said, nearly breathless against his ear as she continued freeing him from his pants. 

“Wallet,” he grunted, kissing her neck again. 

More groping and fumbling in the dark as she pulled the aged leather wallet from his back pocket, and retrieved a condom from the center billfold. Focusing on opening the wrapper proved difficult when Ben alternated sucking and kissing on her collarbone. She gave his shaft a few strokes, twisted her wrist as she came toward the base before slipping on the condom. 

She knew she was slipping into dangerous territory, but she placed her forehead against his, positioned his cock below her entrance. His warm hands wrapped around her thighs to support her. She slid down onto him, gasped at the way he stretched and filled her. Her hips set a slow easy pace, rolling lazily, but never moving her forehead away from his. It would be so easy to tip over the edge, to give herself completely into... whatever this was. It’d be so easy just to let herself fall in love, even after just one night. 

But he’d still be gone in the morning. 

So she closed her eyes and kept her hips moving, chose to focus on the purely physical rather than anything else — how he filled her completely, how he knew just where to touch her to push her closer toward her tipping point. She centered it in her mind, as if it was a fixed point on a wall and she couldn’t deviate left or right. When she came, she tried not to focus on the prickling disappointment that it was over. 

It happened. She had a one night stand with her favorite rock star. Not many people could claim that. 

They moved to the bed moments later and had sex twice more before passing out. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to thank everyone who read/ commented on chapter one. I'm very happy that y'all are enjoying this so far and I hope you enjoy chapter two as well! Like I said, this fic is completely written and I will be posting chapter three on Wednesday! 
> 
> As always, a huge thank you to [theselittlethings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theselittlethings) for beta reading this.

Rey’s hand hit a solid wall of muscle flopping over toward the other side of the bed. Once the fog of sleep broke just a little bit, she realized she’d hit a chest with her palm. And not just any chest... it was Kylo's... Ben’s... chest. 

She watched his silvery silhouette gently rise and fell with his breathing. He stayed.  _ Huh _ . He  _ actually _ stayed. He probably was so exhausted after last night's...  _ activities  _ that he fell asleep instead of running for the door the second he was done. Yeah, that was probably it. 

He stirred and a surge of panic rippled through her body. Should she pretend to be asleep? Should she say good morning? What the hell was the etiquette for greeting someone you thought would be long gone when you woke up? 

“Hey,” his gravely morning voice said, pulling her from her thoughts. 

She felt ridiculous as she pulled the comforter further up her chest. “Hi.” 

“I hate to ask, but where’s your bathroom?” 

Her death grip on the comforter relaxed. “Down the hall, first door on the right.” 

“Thanks.” Kylo... Ben pulled his pants on and scurried out of the bedroom. 

Rey sighed and looked up at the ceiling. Hopefully once he finished his business, the “well this was fun, let’s pretend we'll call each other” charade would be quick. If only to avoid any unnecessary awkwardness. 

When he came back, Rey closed her eyes and braced herself for the inevitable dance that was sure to follow. She kept her eyes shut, but didn’t hear the sounds of shoes or belts being put on. Curiosity overwhelmed her and she opened one eye slightly 

“Are these the new Polaroid cameras?” Ky... Ben asked. 

_ What?  _ “Uh yeah... they are actually.” 

Ben ran a finger along one of her cameras perched on her dresser. “My parents had one that I was constantly stealing.” 

Rey laughed, still in a sleepy haze. Her eyes fluttered closed again. She heard a clicking followed by a whirring sound. 

“Did you just take a picture of me?’ 

When she opened her eyes and looked toward the end of the bed, she had the answer. Ben trained the lens of her Polaroid on her face. “I’m so glad they started making these again.” 

She gave him a sincere smile. “Me too.” 

Her head turned to the window of her small apartment, staring toward the purples and blues of the blossoming sunrise. 

She spoke to no one in particular. “I’ve always wanted to photograph the sunrise.”

Not expecting anything, she was startled when he replied, “Then let's go.”

“Wait, what?” Rey blinked. 

“Get dressed, we’ll get some coffee, and let's go watch the sunrise.”

Not wanting to give him a chance to change his mind, she threw off the covers — nearly forgetting she was still naked — and dashed over to her dresser and hastily put clothes on. Ben smirked in amusement as he watched her child-like enthusiasm unfold. He put his black shirt over his head and made coffee on Rey’s Keurig for the both of them. 

Rey doctored hers up with sugar and cream until it was that perfect light brown consistency. Ben looked on in horror, sipping his black. 

She laughed at him and took another sip. “Perfect.” 

As they walked in companionable silence toward the beach, Rey began thinking, and that was generally dangerous. Here was Ben Solo, alias Kylo Ren, walking with her along the beach like they were old friends. True, their conversation had flown freely and easily the night before, but that didn’t  _ make _ them friends — or anything, really. They were just two people who met at a bar and spent the night together. Still, Rey couldn’t deny the attraction and chemistry that brewed in those short hours. 

She never met someone with whom she connected so quickly, but she knew she needed to temper any excitement about their would-be connection. His presence in her life would be fleeting and she needed to keep that in perspective, no matter how nice this tranquil moment seemed. 

In between the constant rollercoaster of emotions she felt about a near-perfect stranger, they managed to walk down the beach and settle on a spot near a lifeguard stand. Not having the foresight to bring a blanket, they sat in the sand and sipped their coffee, waiting for the sunrise to cast its yellow and purple magic over the horizon. 

It was odd timing, but Rey thought back to how he evaded her question about what exactly he was doing at this humble resort. He could pick any vacation spot in the world, yet he was at a no-name resort that mainly stayed afloat due to word of mouth and yearly family vacations. It was nice and offered good amenities, but it wasn’t the French Riviera or Turks and Caicos. So what was he doing here? That question began to gnaw at her. 

Opting to keep the question to herself, she looked toward the horizon. She picked up her camera and seized the opportunity to snap a picture. Wanting to show off the fruits of her labor, she turned to Ben, but he was too enraptured with the sunrise to see her. His face was soft. No longer looking tired and worn down with care, he seemed about ten years younger staring off into the distance. 

Rey snapped another photo. That seemed to snap him out of his daze and he smirked at her. 

“Did you just take a picture of me?” 

Rey nodded like that cat who ate the canary. 

“Can I see it?”

She handed him the picture along with the one she took of the sunrise moments earlier. 

A beat passed between them as he surveyed the photos. “These are damn good.” 

Rey’s eyes widened with appreciation. “You think so?” 

Ben nodded. “You have an eye for this kind of thing, it seems like.”

Rey’s stomach sank hearing those words and her mouth slanted into a half-smile. “Yeah, I used to be a graphic design major.” 

“Used to be?” Ben prompted. 

Rey sighed and set her camera down in her lap. “I was in school in Michigan for graphic design. I like that sort of thing, always have. I started off drawing pictures for my foster family, then in middle school and high school was when my art teachers began to see potential in me.” 

“Then what happened?”

Rey picked at her cuticles. “I got to college and I was a small fish in a big pond, which I didn’t mind. I loved designing t-shirts, book covers and things like that. It was fun and I was happy that I could make a living doing something I loved. Then... I just lost passion for it.” 

Ben’s brow furrowed. “What made you lose passion?” 

“Nothing,” Rey said quickly. Ben wasn’t the only one who could keep secrets around here. 

“Come on,” he said dubiously, “there had to be a reason. No one as good as you just loses passion for something they love out of the blue.” 

“You could tell all that from a picture?” Rey scoffed. 

“I could tell from the way you sang last night, the way you jumped out of bed itching to see the sunrise, and yes... the picture you just took.” 

Rey bit her lip and closed her eyes. She never told anyone why she dropped out, not even Finn and Rose. 

“I had this asshole professor. Nothing was ever good enough for him, he was overly critical... Anyway, you get the picture. I was on the verge of failing his class, so I went to office hours to see if I could do anything to bump up my grade. He somehow was even  _ more _ of an asshole in that meeting and implied that I didn’t have a future in the industry.

“Well, that just made me lose it. I went off on him and told him what a miserable man he was. Well, of course, he didn’t like that. He went to the head of the program and said I propositioned him for a better grade. Obviously that was a lie, but I got written up on an honor violation and... I was just over it at that point. So, I dropped out. And Finn and Rose were kind enough to offer me a job and a place to live.” 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” 

Rey shrugged and picked at the hem of her shorts. “It’s my own damn fault. I shouldn’t have gone off on him like I did.” 

“Hey, don’t say that.” Ben said firmly as his bigger hand gripped her wrist. His face and voice softened. “I know I barely know you and this is not my place to say, but I hope that you continue someday. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, just someday. You owe it to yourself to see this through.” 

Rey turned toward him slowly. His statement was blunt, but hearing those words was exactly what she’d been missing for the last three months. Verbalizing what she endured made her chest feel lighter and her spirit more free. His words were like a drink of water after an eternity in the desert. She didn’t know what else to say as she bit her lip. 

“Thank you.” 

He nodded and they both turned back toward the horizon, letting the lapping of the ocean and cawing gulls soothe them. Ben took another sip of his coffee and let out a hum. “My dad proposed to my mom here.” 

Rey didn’t understand the sudden revelation. “What?”

“Last night, you asked me why I was here, in Destin.” 

Rey stammered to respond, but Ben held up his hand to silence her then pressed on something hidden under his shirt. 

“It’s a valid question. What’s a millionaire rock star doing on vacation in a humble resort like this? My parents got engaged here. After my dad died five years ago, my mom came back every year on their wedding anniversary. Which just happens to be today...”

Rey nodded in understanding. 

It was obviously a touchy subject for him. He shook his head, as if attempting to bury any rising tides of grief before he continued. “I’m not saying this to garner any sympathy, but immediately after my dad died, I didn’t think I was going to play any music ever again.” 

“But you did,” Rey stated, thinking of some of the songs he played last night that were born out of Ben’s grief. 

“I had to force myself at first, but once I moved past the initial discomfort and unease, I found a way to move forward.” 

Rey hummed. “So, if your mom usually comes here, why are you here?” 

“She hasn’t been feeling too well the past few weeks and she thought she might not be able to make it. But I wasn’t gonna let her or my dad down like that.” 

“So what does she do when she comes here?” 

“She scatters a bit of my dad’s ashes on the beach. I wasn’t about to do that, so she gave me this,” he said, pulling out the chain tucked underneath his shirt to reveal an attached dice charm. “He called this his lucky charm. The only time he ever forgot it, he got into a terrible car accident and fucked up his leg. She wanted me to bring this here and just think about him.” 

“Were you doing that earlier when I took the picture of you?”

Ben nodded. “I’ve never been here. My mom said my dad woke her up early when they were on vacation here and brought her down to the beach. He said they stopped between a lifeguard stand and an ice cream shack.” 

Out of the corner of her eye, Rey saw a small building made of weathered grey wood with the words “Ice Cream” painted in faded blue and pink letters. The picture she took of him after they first sat down finished developing, and Ben was studying it a little more. 

“You can keep that one. I think your mom would like it.” 

“Thanks,” he replied softly. 

The pair saw more people coming from the path that led to the beach, and Rey noted Ben’s growing unease at potentially being spotted. A serendipitous yawn escaped from her before saying, “I don’t know about you, but I could use a nap.” 

“That sounds wonderful,” Ben said, his shoulders relaxing. 

They walked back to Rey’s little apartment. Their knuckles brushed a few times along the way. Rey grabbed Ben’s hand. A look of surprise flashed across his face at the contact, but he blushed and stifled a smile as they walked in silence. The prickling feeling of doubt that nagged her the whole time they sat and talked was still there, but she could pretend it didn’t exist. She could pretend he wasn’t going to leave her at a moment's notice. 

The sharp sting of reality didn’t set in until later. 

The room was a bit warm. That’s what woke Rey up. The heavy Florida sunlight beat into her bedroom without mercy. She looked at the clock, surprised she slept for three hours. Sitting up in her bed, she looked around expecting to find someone in the room, but she was alone. 

Then it hit her. She was  _ alone _ . 

Pushing down the panic rising in her stomach, she rationalized that Ben was probably just in the kitchen. After flinging off her comforter, she realized her apartment was completely silent too. She padded into the kitchen. 

“Ben?” 

No answer. 

The only answer was a strange piece of paper sitting on one of her kitchen counters. She picked it up. 

_ Rey,  _

_ I’m terrible at goodbyes, so I apologize for leaving you this way. I’m leaving you my dad’s necklace as a talisman to guide you as you puzzle out your next steps in life. Please reach out if you ever need anything. Be well.  _

He left his number and signed it, 

_ Love,  _

_ Ben _

Her fingers grazed the gold dice and chain. She knew it. She  _ knew _ it couldn’t last forever, and she was foolish to even think they would have anything beyond last night and this morning. But just like she told herself, there were no promises uttered, no vows made. In that moment, no matter how painful it was, she made the choice to only look back on this night with gratitude. Rey knew she should be happy it happened. 

  
It was the stuff of dreams, but  _ damn _ was it going to hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/em_is_writing)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is guys. We've reached the final chapter of this fic! I want to thank everyone for coming along on this journey with me. It's been great to get back in to writing fic even if it's just dipping my toes in. Hope y'all enjoy the last chapter<3!

_ One year later... _

“So are you still coming to see us this year?” Finn asked over the phone. 

Rey wedged the phone between her ear and shoulder as she picked up a dish and began washing it. “Ummm…”

“Aww come on, Rey!” Rose chimed in. “Is work and school really slamming you that much?” 

Rey bit her lip. Rose and Finn had been begging her all summer to come visit them in Florida. She didn’t know if she should go with the truth, or keep telling half-truths. If she was honest, the past year had been a struggle to define what happened with Ben... Kylo. 

His parting note simply said to reach out if she needed anything. It said nothing about wanting to see her again. If he did, he would have said so in his note. He would have woken her up and said his goodbyes in person. Rey tried to keep that all in perspective, because letting her mind wander to other possibilities hurt too damn much. 

In the weeks immediately after, she thought about his fingers on her skin, how she felt when he was inside her, and the warmth that settled in her belly during their conversation the next morning. All the precious memories from those short hours had reduced her to tears more times than she cared to admit. It was embarrassing, really. 

All the pain that her encounter with Be... Kylo, brought some good into her life too. Just a week after he left, she began looking up colleges — but far away from Michigan. She couldn’t go back there, not after everything that happened. She absentmindedly scrubbed a dish as she looked out the window into the alley. Her apartment in Los Angeles wasn’t glamorous by any means, but she was comfortable with the direction her life was going. 

Then why did it feel like something was missing? She didn’t get a chance to answer because Rose’s voice interrupted her thoughts. 

“Rey, you still there?” 

“Oh yeah, sorry,” she said, shaking her head and centering herself. “It's been crazy, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to see you guys this summer.” 

“Okay, well, if you change your mind, let us know,” Finn said. 

“I will.” Rey smiled. 

They said their goodbyes and Rey set the phone down. She pressed her palms on the kitchen counter and let out a sigh. She really did want to visit her friends and take a vacation, she just didn’t know if that would open Pandora’s Box. As she dried her hands on a towel, she willed herself to not think about things she shouldn’t be thinking about. 

She headed over to a box of things she’d been meaning to donate since she moved out here. She grunted as she bent down to pick it up. A book tumbled out as she lost her handling. With a sigh, she set the box down again. She picked up the book and some Polaroids fell out. This didn’t surprise Rey, she often used the pictures as bookmarks. She retrieved them from the ground and turned them over —

She almost dropped them when she saw what they were, the pictures she took the night she spent with Ben. Rey tucked those away in her mission to forget about him and their time together. She almost forgot where she put them, but in a cruel twist of irony, they showed up at the exact moment she needed them least. 

They were all there, along with more pictures she took in Florida. Her thumb ran over two pictures of the sunrise, one from when they first sat down and another from moments later with the fiery colors of morning fully on display. She allowed herself to give them a longing glance before setting them aside. There were pictures of her with Rose and Finn, pictures of interesting flowers she’d seen…

_ But wait, where’s the picture of me that Ben took?  _

She flipped through the pictures again to make sure she hadn’t missed any. She wasn’t. She looked again, just to make sure she wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t. 

What  _ had _ happened to the picture Ben took of her? She remembered back to where she left them after returning from the beach. She had a vague recollection of the camera being placed on the kitchen counter. 

_ The counter of her kitchen. Where Ben left the note.  _

Rey didn’t want to entertain the possibility that Ben wanted to see her again, but the sliver of a thought took root. It was just one night, but could Ben possibly want more? Could he actually want to see her again — a nobody graphic design student? The only way Rey would know for sure was if she actually contacted him, which she hadn't done. 

She glanced back toward her bedroom where she kept his note, and bit her lip. Did she dare reach out to him? Surely he didn’t remember her. Surely he didn’t want to hear from some one night stand he had nearly a year ago. 

Did he? 

The box of items that needed to be donated now forgotten, she glanced at the nightstand where she’d buried Ben’s note. Against her better judgement, she walked over. After a few seconds of digging she pulled the note out of the drawer. The faded piece of computer paper crumpled in her hand a bit. In keeping with the afternoon’s serendipitous flow, her eyes landed on the calendar hanging above her desk. Ben’s parent’s anniversary  _ just so happened  _ to be this coming weekend. 

Wasn’t that something? 

Her fingers itched to touch her phone and text him. There was a high probability that he would be taking his mother’s place once more. Then again he could be wherever he was in the world, doing whatever musicians do. In an insane burst of courage, before she could really think about what she was doing, she typed the number from the paper into her phone. 

< _ Rey: This is Rey. I’m going to Naboo Villas this weekend. I would really like to see you.> _

Rey purposely left her phone on her bed and went off to the Goodwill. She knew that she would be too distracted to focus on anything else if she took it. She didn’t check it later that night either, and didn’t work up the courage until after breakfast the next morning. 

There was no text when she finally flipped her phone over. 

It took everything in her to not to call Finn and Rose and cancel her plans to go to Florida. Instead, she became resolved she would see this through. She threw her phone in the top drawer and didn’t take it out again until her bags were packed and she was walking out the door. 

***

Rose and Finn were more than excited that Rey made the trip. They welcomed her at the airport with a colorful sign that read “Welcome Back!” In the back of her mind, Rey knew that seeing Ben was a long shot. He hadn’t responded to her text and Rey was beginning to think he would never answer, or show up at the resort. That knowledge didn’t stop her from keeping her head on a swivel the first two days of her trip, looking for him anywhere she ventured off to. 

By night two, she resigned herself to the fact that she was right — Ben didn’t want to see her and he wasn’t coming. The plan, which she informed Rose of, then became to get slightly tipsy and flirt with a stranger in a feeble attempt to forget. It felt slightly pathetic but if it worked, then Rey would consider that a win.

Rey and Rose chatted at the bar as she sipped her first cocktail of the evening, while Finn served a group of young men around their age.  _ Promising,  _ Rey mused. Rose caught her looking and wagged her eyebrows. 

“I gotta go bring these drinks to that table over there, but I’ll be right back!” Rose patted her friend on the back. “Good luck.” 

Rey looked around at the bar patrons and stirred the plastic straw in her cocktail. She listened to the ice clink against the glass, mustering up the courage to approach one of the guys. 

She barely heard the sound of something sliding behind her. 

“Come here often?” 

Before she could turn around and tell the guy to fuck off, she stopped herself. She knew that voice. 

_ Ben. _ Her fingers flew up to touch the necklace he’d given her. 

“Trade you?” he asked as his fingers tapped on a Polaroid. 

Rey gasped. It was the picture he took of her when she was in bed. In a hushed voice, she said, “You  _ did  _ take it…” 

Ben looked a little sheepish. “I hope that’s okay.” 

Rey nodded. Words failed her in this moment, but she managed to squeak out an obvious statement. “You came.” 

“I had to see you again. I didn’t know if this was my last chance.” 

Rey was stunned. He actually wanted to see her again? The thought had only mildly occurred to her. Maybe,  _ just _ maybe, she’d been wrong about this whole situation. Rey assumed that because of his occupation, his status, that he just wanted the physical. 

She’d never been more glad to be wrong. Maybe. There was still so much unspoken between them. 

“Can we get out of here and talk?” Rey nodded toward the entrance of the Tiki Hutt. 

“Sure thing,” Ben said, “lead the way.” 

She turned and Ben placed his hand on the small of her back, sending a thrill up her spine. They left the bar and found an entrance to the beach. This time, they decided a spot by the dunes would do quite nicely. 

When they sat down they turned toward each other, full of nervous energy, and both opened their mouths to speak at the same time. As they laughed, some of their nerves evaporated. 

Ben tilted his head toward her. “You first.” 

“I went back to school,” she said, pulling the necklace out from below her sundress. “I’d like to think this was my lucky charm.” 

“That’s great, congratulations,” Ben replied with a genuine smile. “In Michigan?”

“No, L.A.,” she answered, a small bit of pride puffing up in her chest. “I almost went to see you at The Troubadour a few weeks back, almost texted you and everything...” 

“Why didn’t you?” Ben asked, his brows knit in confusion. 

“I didn’t think you wanted to see me…” Her voice trailed off as she stared into the black night. 

“But I did,” Ben said confidently. Rey could tell he wasn’t placating her. 

“You did?” Rey asked, surprised and elated at his admission. 

“Rey,” Ben began, sliding his hand in the sand toward hers. “I flew across the country to see you. I left you my number so you’d call me.” 

Rey scoffed as she grabbed his hand, “Really?” 

“I wanted to get to know you and see where things could lead.” 

“Do you still want to?” 

“Yes,” he said, lifting a hand toward her face and pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. 

Here this man was, accepting her without any judgement. He knew her most painful secret, but didn't hesitate to see if something could blossom between them. 

She’d be a fool to let this go. “I would like that too.” 

She pulled him in for a kiss and the piece Rey had been missing the last year clicked into place. She knew she’d been a bit foolish in waiting so long, but she knew they would make up for lost time. When they were safely locked in her room, their hands groping all over each other’s bodies, Rey felt some ground had been regained. When he bent between her bare legs and licked and kissed her cunt to his heart’s content, even less ground to cover existed. When they came together and she collapsed, boneless on top of him, the time they lost to her own insecurities didn’t seem to matter anymore. 

Where it would lead, no one could say. But for Rey, that was more than okay. 

They found their way back to one another. That was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on [twitter](https://twitter.com/em_is_writing)!

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [twitter](https://twitter.com/em_is_writing)!


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